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Post by noah tucker . on Aug 15, 2008 15:53:33 GMT -5
LISTENING TO : - - - someday , flipsyde . - - -
trucker fucker , just stay strong. - - ( ntucker@hotmail.com )
you don't need to. but i would like to know, anyway. who or what do you think could make you one of the happiest people alive?
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Post by hannah scheaffer. on Aug 15, 2008 15:57:19 GMT -5
Listening To : wow, i can get sexual too , say anything.
Hannah
[/font][/color] Jane[/font][/color] . ( hanscheaffer@hotmail.com )[/blockquote][/blockquote] i'm not looking to be one of the happiest people alive, i'm just fine. i can handle being just okay. what about you ? do you think that right now you are really, genuinely happy ? and if not, what do you think would make you so ?
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Post by noah tucker . on Aug 15, 2008 16:02:22 GMT -5
LISTENING TO : - - - someday , flipsyde . - - -
trucker fucker , just stay strong. - - ( ntucker@hotmail.com )
fine then. what do you think could make you better, than just okay?
i'm never genuinely happy, i just cannot be. what would make me genuinely happy, was that if my family's blood was spilt by my own two hands. all i need to be happy is to be with my son. anyone other than kaden, just makes me feel a little more happy.
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Post by hannah scheaffer. on Aug 15, 2008 16:10:43 GMT -5
Listening To : wow, i can get sexual too , say anything.
Hannah
[/font][/color] Jane[/font][/color] . ( hanscheaffer@hotmail.com )[/blockquote][/blockquote] i really wish that i could be that independent, that i could be honestly happy by myself. i was that way for so long, i didn't actually think for a second that i would end up this dependent on someone else. i'm supposed to be fucking better than that, damn it.
when i was with you i was so ... ecstatic, so glad that i was and then i messed that up. it was unbelievable.
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Post by noah tucker . on Aug 15, 2008 16:24:41 GMT -5
LISTENING TO : - - - someday , flipsyde . - - -
trucker fucker , just stay strong. - - ( ntucker@hotmail.com )
it's kind of easy when you've been alone for your entire life in the first place.
dependent on someone, who in the hell are you dependent on? i've never seen you dependent on anyone.
i don't blame you for fucking up, hannah. i mean sure, it's hard to get over it, but i don't blame you for it. i tried my best to be great for you, to be great to you. and it just seemed like all of it didn't matter, at all to you.
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Post by hannah scheaffer. on Aug 15, 2008 16:31:45 GMT -5
Listening To : wow, i can get sexual too , say anything.
Hannah
[/font][/color] Jane[/font][/color] . ( hanscheaffer@hotmail.com )[/blockquote][/blockquote] i can't relate, i'm not even going to try.
i'm hannah, i don't know if you've met me, but i am always dependent on someone and it is so fucking irritating.
it's my fault ! i brought this on myself. you were so great towards me and i gave that up so fucking easily. it should have mattered, i should have thought. i wasn't thinking, i was stupid.
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Post by noah tucker . on Aug 15, 2008 16:46:58 GMT -5
LISTENING TO : - - - someday , flipsyde . - - -
trucker fucker , just stay strong. - - ( ntucker@hotmail.com )
i wouldn't ever want you to, either.
you never really seemed dependent on me, so i wouldn't really know.
i tried to be great to you, the last thing i ever wanted to do was let you down.
hannah, i still do love you. there is nothing in the world that will ever change that, nothing can change the way i feel about you. i am so deeply in love with you. because that just never goes away, no matter how much i wish it could.
but right now, i just need to be alone. i'm not going to be with ivanna anymore, nor anyone else. i just cannot let anyone else be in danger just because of me.
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Post by hannah scheaffer. on Aug 15, 2008 16:55:00 GMT -5
Listening To : wow, i can get sexual too , say anything.
Hannah
[/font][/color] Jane[/font][/color] . ( hanscheaffer@hotmail.com )[/blockquote][/blockquote] i was so dependent on you, what are you talking about ?
you didn't let me down, you were so great and i just went right ahead and screwed that up.
i love you, too. i don't intend on stopping, but i will do something about it. when the time is right, of course. not now, not knowing that you are with someone else.
if that is what you want, if that is what you need to happen, fine. i'll be waiting.
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Post by noah tucker . on Aug 15, 2008 17:01:56 GMT -5
LISTENING TO : - - - someday , flipsyde . - - -
trucker fucker , just stay strong. - - ( ntucker@hotmail.com )
oh really? it didn't seem like you were dependent on me at all.
i am glad i didn't let you down, it took me almost four years to convince it wasn't me that made you leave. the day you said you wanted me back, told me everything.
you shouldn't have to wait. i don't want you to wait, because i don't know how long it would actually be, i don't know a lot anymore. i just don't want you to have to wait for a long time.
i need to say this, though.
i love you, hannah scheaffer. so damn much, and i am sorry i am such a pain in the ass.
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Post by hannah scheaffer. on Aug 15, 2008 17:08:06 GMT -5
Listening To : wow, i can get sexual too , say anything.
Hannah
[/font][/color] Jane[/font][/color] . ( hanscheaffer@hotmail.com )[/blockquote][/blockquote] maybe not that bad, but just because i didn't want you doing stupid things for me didn't mean that i wasn't dependent. it was just a different way.
you didn't make me leave, that was own idiotic choice.
regardless of if i want it that way or not, i will always be waiting for you. you know, i can move on physically but my heart is always yours.
you are a complete pain in the ass, with your mixed emotions and bullshit, but that is beside the point. i love you, too, noah.
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Post by noah tucker . on Aug 15, 2008 17:17:06 GMT -5
LISTENING TO : - - - someday , flipsyde . - - -
trucker fucker , just stay strong. - - ( ntucker@hotmail.com )
which shouldn't surprise me at all, considering you do everything different than any other chicks.
i guess that whole soul mate shit is true, or whatever. we just cannot be away from one another, not emotionally. i told you four years ago, my heart will always be yours and i meant it, obviously.
i am a pain in the ass, but i'm your pain in the ass. i don't know what the fuck i feel or want anymore, but i do know i love you.
my ass is numb and my foot is asleep. i don't think that is a very good combination.
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Post by hannah scheaffer. on Aug 15, 2008 17:24:33 GMT -5
Listening To : wow, i can get sexual too , say anything.
Hannah
[/font][/color] Jane[/font][/color] . ( hanscheaffer@hotmail.com )[/blockquote][/blockquote] should have been born a male, honestly.
damn, and i was really hoping it wasn't, it could have atleast saved me a lot of trouble sometime, i guess. i know, and at last, i feel the same way.
mine ? no, no, not yet. that is a good way to start off, all of the feelings and desires come after discovering that fact.
doesn't sound like it. i'm shivering and the fan is off, the vent is closed, the air conditioner isn't too low.
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Post by noah tucker . on Aug 15, 2008 23:39:57 GMT -5
LISTENING TO : - - - someday , flipsyde . - - -
trucker fucker , just stay strong. - - ( ntucker@hotmail.com )
you know what sounds good to me right now?
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Post by hannah scheaffer. on Aug 16, 2008 0:01:16 GMT -5
Listening To : wow, i can get sexual too , say anything.
Hannah
[/font][/color] Jane[/font][/color] . ( hanscheaffer@hotmail.com )[/blockquote][/blockquote] no, but i'm guessing you are going to tell me ?
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Post by noah tucker . on Aug 16, 2008 0:03:55 GMT -5
LISTENING TO : - - - someday , flipsyde . - - -
trucker fucker , just stay strong. - - ( ntucker@hotmail.com )
aw now aren't you the smart one.
a warm shower sounds really good right about now. my body just aches for some relaxation and, pleasure.
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