" ordinary boys .

[zeus ledbetter.]

living's easy on a house boat - let the motion rock us back and forth to
sleep and in the morning when the sun rise look in the water, see
the blue sky - as if heaven has been laid there at our feet .

__________________

- - - - - -sleep clouded eyes had finally got what they wanted at precisely four twenty-seven that morning. Those same honey orbs now fogged from the twelve hours of rest they had just received weakly shifted back and fourth from the creases in the sheets only a hot iron would be able to treat and the digital clock on the oak nightstand. The red numbers seemed smeared through the eyes that belonged to the humble boy still wrapped up in his fleece blankets at four in the afternoon. He had slept the Saturday away yet wasn't the least bit intimidated by the rogue blurs he could barely make out on the clock. Zeus remained between the bulky sheets of his quilted queen sized bed. Surrounded by a dense atmosphere that seemed to mock the amount of inactivity fuming from his hundreds upon thousands of pores Zeus could barely breath. Sprawled out in the middle of his mattress, Zeus laid there like a center fold, suffocating. The humidity was drowning the sparse gentlemen as he swiveled on top of his spine to catch some air and with a cough Zeus figured his lungs were clear. Well aware that there was no use in staying in bed any longer the youngest of all Ledbetters shook off his numb limbs as he left the warmth his bed possessed. It then occurred to the male that he was completely bare right down to his toes that usually were behind cotton covers when he rose from his bed. Pursing his lips, quite disturbed by the fact that he didn't recall undressing before bed Zeus tried to shrug it off and not let it shake him. Sneaking past the full length mirror so he wouldn't have to deal with the agony a bad body brought a person, Zeus arrived at his bureau with in seconds and as he opened up the top drawer he picked out a very unflattering look. Passing on any under wear, he hopped inside a thin pair of trousers that he hadn't the slightest clue as to how they showed up in his dresser. The shirt was a whole different story; it had been one he had ripped ages ago to allow a little bit of his chest hair poke through. Of course, Zeus had paid the price for this fashion don't when somebody had gripped onto his tiny slit at school and turned it into one wide gash. Still neither of the ill fitting clothes were convincing enough for a change. It wasn't as if the boy was going out in public so he didn't see the harm in wandering about his parents place in sweats and tight tee.


- - - - - -with in no time, Zeus was catching up on everything he had missed out on while vacationing in dreamland. Even with a weak body, the boy still had responsibilities. Certainly not as much as your Average Joe that but Zeus Zeppelin Ledbetter did have a to-do list. It may not consist of your typical chores but it did keep the kid in check by following a checklist at times. Having forgotten what his agenda was made up of today, Zeus resorted to smoking before he got around to anything else. Like half of the single men living at home with their parents Zeus was a stoner, he had been since the seventh grade and wasted no time packing a fat bowl into his pipe. He repeated this gesture three times before he paid attention to the cries of his beloved cat, Icarus. The orange fur ball meowed at his feet as a flame flickered in front of his face. By the time what was left in the mosaic utensil, Zeus kissed the top his kitty's head. He adored the feline and was well aware as to why his baby was whining. "Daddy's really sorry that he didn't wake up earlier to feed you, Icky." Cradling the cat close to his chest he cleared his cotton mouth and carried the little guy all the way down to the first floor of the over sized home. Once the two boys had arrived in the kitchen the same routine that happened most mornings rendered several hours late. As he spooned out Icarus' wet food that reeked Zeus tossed the spoon into the sink on his way the the stainless steel refrigerator. He decided a tall glass of orange juice and a stick of string cheese was all he needed right now as he went to go get situated in front of the television.


- - - - - -pleasantly pleased by the never ending project of allowing his mind to someday deteriorate completely, Zeus held a meager smile. He unraveled his string cheese with indefinite precision and let the white slim shavings slip past his chapped lips. He had turned the television on to cartoons as he quenched his throat through the orange juice. Disappointed with the selection of cartoons on the three main children channels the little boy pouted ever so slightly. During this time for dwelling, Zeus sunk deeper and deeper into the white walls. The high ceilings hypnotized him as his mouth drooped open. Fading in and out Zeus changed the tv to the local news. He didn't waste his vision at looking at the screen, instead he let his head fall back and stare up at the ceiling as he listened to the two anchors reminisce on the evenings top events. The Los Angeles news was so much more media based then other cities scattered through out the country. As disturbing as it was - Zeus had come back to LA to work on getting a degree in journalism all to live up to his new dream of someday mutating into one of those superficial sons of bitches. Unsure of what had captivated him to pick up such a dream Zeus was now determined. A strange word to describe any pot head but the twenty-one year old was working on all of that. Gnawing on his lower lip as he tried to listen what the people behind the thin glass screen had to say the boy mouthed the last part of their sign off spiel. It was when they came to the day's date that caught him off guard. Had they really mentioned something about Saturday? That typical dumb look lit up Zeus' face as he sat up completely and broke out the trusty remote and rewound the live television. He adored his DVR and most certainly would collapse if he didn't own a device like it. It became clear to Zeus that today was Saturday but not only that he had plans that that night and not the kid you could so easily brush off your shoulder. Once the sun decided to set, Zeus had invited Paris Lamphier's arrival. He had been anticipating this day for an entire week and wanted every moment to go well as he almost automatically sprung to his feet that had yet to be socked.


- - - - - -growing a bit nervous as he paced once around the room. He officially looked awful. It wasn't as if he usually looked much better but his hair was a wreck and his ensemble was literally atrocious. He sneered as he peered down at his presence and immediately made it toward the stairs again. He had already wasted another hour on basically continuing that lucid state he had been lumped in while in bed. Hurrying up the stairs Zeus hesitated no further but to hop right in his own personal shower. Not bothering to shut the door there was no steam saved to right on the mirror with when he emerged from the murker depths of the glass cubicle. After cleaning himself up some Zeus eventually got around to looking somewhat attractive in his glazed over eyes. He had pulled a flannel over his hairy chest and began to button the blouse up. This time he sported Calvin Klein boxer briefs along with dark denim designer jeans his mother had bought him for one of his birthday gifts. They hugged his legs in all the right places yet Zeus still felt the need to tie his classic look all together with a leather belt. Looking as fashionable as ever, the boy brushed through his crisp colored hair before he made a trip to the kitchen.


- - - - - -tonight was designed to be somewhat special. Even if Zeus knew getting involved in a relationship wasn't his keenest idea ever but he really did enjoy the company of the one boy he really interacted with here in his hometown. After a long discussion on the subject the boys had basically agreed on what they both wanted was slightly more then just some friends with benefits deal. Paris had confessed to having commitment issues but Zeus wanted to show him what a real relationship was like. It was quite clear that neither male was interested in falling in love so Zeus didn't plan on it. He just wanted something simple and a body in his bed every once in awhile. He sincerely missed the warmth that fumed from a person curled up next to him. As many flaws that there seemed to be scattered about the entire situation, Zeus was willing to make it work. He wanted to believe it and hopefully it'd unveil itself without any shocking surprises. Making sure things went the way Zeus planned, he decided it'd be best to pick something out for dinner already. Sucking on his teeth he had no idea as to what he was to make he just grabbed ingredients to bake cookies. He excelled when it came to making sweets and wasted little time with the batter from scratch. He concocted a mix of chocolate chips and a bit of peanut butter and laid the dough on a tray making only four cookies. Each one shaped like a heart and fairly large. For the most part his stoned state had slipped right past his finger tips yet his mind remained empty. Zeus smiled at his orange cat and moved right on to petting his child after setting the cookie tray in the preheated oven. His hands were still covered with flour and as he touched to cool point of Icarus' nose he left a little mark. Laughing lightly as he peered down upon his gentle pet he got a sudden urge to experiment with more flour. Once he got his hands on more baking goods he dipped his right index finger into the white powder and lifted it to his face drawing a stripe down the middle of his nose and then drew threw horizontal lines on his cheeks.


- - - - - -it wasn't long until Zeus grew bored with decorating his face and washed his hands. After sterilizing each and every finger of his it dawned on the dude that Paris would probably show up starving soon. That boy was thin and could not risk skipping a meal so Zeus decided to get to work. His face still painted with a weird pattern that resembled something some strange tribal people would have put on for some ritual. After toweling off his wet hands he threw on an apron and remembered a recipe he had seen on the food network's only show that had a black chef. It actually had two cooks in one show since it revolved around a married couple, the Neely's. Zeus smiled as he rushed to bring up the page on his mother's lap top that was conveniently left out on the kitchen table. The recipe he had his eye set on was literally called Get Yo' Man Chicken ! Zeus found it very suitable for tonight and licked his lips to the decadent image he brought up when he read over the list of ingredients. He loved the idea of anything that involved tomato sauce and hoped the website didn't lie when it estimated the thirty to forty minutes it'd take to make. Growing nervous as he gathered everything he needed Zeus threw everything together almost instantly. He had sweated most of the powder from his face but some still clung to his skin. It didn't take to long to put it all together so Zeus tossed a lid on to the pot it was cooking in on it's spot on the stove and so afterward the male knew he needed to set the table. Unsure as to where they should eat, he figured it couldn't hurt to stay in the kitchen.


- - - - - -not wanting to over do it, Zeus set both of their spots. Experiencing many formal events through out his life he knew just how to set up. He topped off the China plate with a wine glass for each boy and couldn't go on functioning until he had some of the rotten fruit juice. After downing an entire glass in a matter of minutes he saved what he had left for later. Wiping the corners of his mouth he knew it was time to relax and let the rooms formal feng shui return as he sat at the spot he planned on eating. It wouldn't be long now, Zeus just hoped nothing would go wrong.

__________________

[/i][/color][/b][/font][/size] complete.
words , 2191.
notes , there's two outfits only because
the first picture makes me lol a lot. (:
attire , lounge clothes & date suit.
tag , paris lamphier.
[/ul][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/font]

[paris lamphier .]

*

[/b][/i][/font][/color] BUT DAMN IT, YOU'RE SO YOUNG
WELL, I DON'T THINK I CARE .[/b][/font][/color][/center]


He hadn’t slept in some time. Hours, days, minutes, he couldn’t pin point the exact amount of time it had been since he’d been in the land of slumber, it all seeming to mesh together in the cruelest of ways, and he, Paris LamPhier stuck in the middle, as a victim of time’s troubles. He was comfortable in that position, but also uncomfortably so, staring towards the ceiling, like he had on so many other occasions, every once in awhile mustering up the energy to bring the bottle of five o’clock to his lips. The bitter alcohol tasted like nothing more than the concoctions doctors and nurses used to clean wounds, or the tiny little wipes provided by fine lobster and steak houses united. Every drink that made it’s way down his throat mysteriously fought it’s way back up, he struggling to close his eyes and numb the cool sweat that had developed on his brow. Relentlessly choking him with every breathe, it seemed like more than an interesting development, because only minutes ago he had forgotten how to breathe. Cigarette smoke was the only thing breathed into his lungs, and the only thing exiting out into the atmosphere around him. He could hardly keep up with the world that seemed to be spinning out of control around him- though for the first time in a long time, one thought was in the center of the swirling lights around him, and he felt collected. He felt at home, and he felt like he could almost breathe again.

----------------------------------------------

His eyes opened for the first time that day, and he didn’t know what to do with himself. His life seemed like such a reoccurrence of the same event, none of them being healthy for his body or for his mind. He’d always looked to drugs for a peace of mind, when really, all they usually did was put him in a state of mind that looked so unlike the one he was used to. He was so unfamiliar with everything around him, and while that was a trauma, a part of it was comforting, like everything else he clung to with a feverent passion that was so unknown to him. That was one word that was always used to describe him, ultimately, at the end of the day. Passionate- and he clung to it as much as he could, because he knew it was the one thing he could focus on for truth.

When he arose out of his bed, he could still feel the effects of the alcohol consumed the last time he was awake, pooling in his stomach and making him feel incredibly full, and incredibly consumed into how much he wanted to remain in bed. He’d never considered himself a lazy person- not by any means, for he was a boy who put most of his esteem into his job and only into his job. He just couldn’t recall the last time sleep had come to him, and now that his napping seemed to be over, a state of drowsiness had shot over him, and he was lost in a world of wishes and wants, stuck between the warm sheets of his bed and the soft pillow, his head imprinted in the cotton, as if it was never going to leave. There was something else, there, however. The very thing that had given him anticipation to remove himself from the bed. A faint smell beyond the sheets, a hint of cologne and body odor that wasn’t his, and that was becoming more and more faint by the day. Zeus Ledbetter had a very distinct smell about him, one that reminded him of the very feeling of his bed long after his bare feet had traced crooked patterns into the bathroom.

As he stepped into the shower, the cool air nipped at his skin, chilled water quickly turning hot and filling the room with steam as it splashed against his body. Soap was applied to every nook and cranny of his body, trying to provide himself with just the perfect amount of clean, careful not to open his eyes. He’d always loved his time in the shower, because it was one of the only places he could be alone and uninterrupted in his house when he was a child. He would spend hours in the bathroom when he was little, not doing one thing or another, mostly just sitting on the tile floor, usually wet from the last person who had gotten out of the shower, and staring at the lights, as they flickered on and off to the pattern he allowed them to go. He’d always done the most peculiar things as a child, that being no acceptation for the other ones he fallowed through with. He’d never claimed to be a normal boy, because at least people who could pass as the adjective had normal tendencies. He was lucky if he knew what the definition of normal was. He hadn’t the desire to be.

Today, was not one of those days, however. He had no time and no desire to sit and reflect. All he had was a dulling headache pounding through his head, two Advil swallowed to tame the cranial pains, and a schedule that he was never too fond of sticking too. The house was quiet on his day, he thanking god for that. His family had been considerably low-key lately, Cairo and London moving out of the home a long while ago, and Vienna fallowing in suit. His parents had returned back to the life they’d loved before the four children had entered their lives, a lot of charity work, and at current, a sort of a field trip back to Africa behind then, leaving Paris terribly alone, and terribly able to roam the house alone, searching and tearing through every small secluded area available, like he used to do when he was a kid, searching for his Christmas presents with his two brothers. He wasn’t looking for anything , and hadn’t found much apart from his father’s porn collection, an unopened pack of cigarettes that were god knew how old, and enough loose change to fill a five galleon jug if he wanted to. He was more than ready to get out of the house, to go do something other than buy cigarettes and alcohol, and he was more than ready to see his companion in question.

That was, perhaps, why he was in such a hurry to get ready. Feet carried him into his room, hands rummaging through his closet, completely unaware of what he was looking for. Something nice, or something casual, something bright and obnoxious like he usually wore, or something toned down- he couldn’t decide, and it was ten or twelve times that he redressed himself over and over again before he found an outfit that was satisfactory to him, fingers tracing and latching buttons of a dull gray and plaid shirt, grey sweater vest going over that. Dark demined jeans clung their way to his thin waist, the miles of layers adding a considerable amount of weight onto his body, that if he would have been asked- he would have said had thinned out, rather than gained weight on. Still, in the mirror, he was feeling disgustingly colorless, and while he liked to be unnoticed most of the time, he was still an actor at heart, and needed some color to pop himself out of who he truly was, for that reason, finding a random orange hat and placing it on top of his head, looking like a fool for the moment, but at least he could be a fool in his own house. He was considerably nervous about leaving his home, knowing exactly the sort of place that the young Ledbetter would live in. One that would be a polar opposite of his, nice an well adjusted and even considered fancy, if he was to ask an outsider, but he had braced himself for the culture shock. He was used to people being more wealthy than he in a materialistic sense of the word, and had no problems against it. What he did have concerns with, were people who had problems with him, and they way his parents spent their money. The community of wealth was a complex one, full of rumors and destruction, and it was certainly something that he didn’t want to involve himself with.

Still, when he grabbed his coat and walked out the door, there was a faint smile written across his face, and two more advil shoved into his pocket just in case his more than obnoxious headache came back to fill his mind. There was a light feeling in the air, or perhaps, that was the light feeling that had filled his heart, sweeping through him and taking control of a world that he used to know so many years ago. He preferred walking at this time of night, but settled for a walk to his car, an ancient piece of american machinery, but something that had never let him down in the past. His destination was easy enough to get to, but he had also taken it upon himself to bring a gift, nothing trashy or sleezy like he would usually bring. Just a simple bottle of cheap white wine, because he couldn’t stand the red, and he was back into his car, nerves churning at his stomach, wondering exactly what this was going to be like. He was a disgustingly nervous person, always tripping out about one thing or another, but he knew that things couldn’t be too bad, because it was Zeus and nothing was ever unbearable with him. Mildly uncomfortable and aggravating, yes, but everything always had a way of just being how it should have been, and he was grateful for that. He was not an easy person to get along with, not by any means, but the newest boy in his life had tolerated him to the best of his abilities, and that was something to be admired by him and the rest of the world.


Feet carried him several places, after his car was stopped and he was faced with a nice house, not strangely nice or scarce for the area, but certainly better in his own. He grabbed his phone and his wallet and shoved them into his back pockets, bottle of wine included in his other hand, and pasted a smile onto his face. He had learned, even when he was young, to always smile. It was disarming, in a way, despite the fact that he himself was possibly the most non-aggressive person on the planet, and he knew it. He was tired of telling himself things he already knew about himself over and over again, so it was that moment that he turned off his train of thought and just took a deep breathe, breathing in and out just to calm himself, before talking the great pilgrimage up the steps. Fingertips laced their way towards the door, and knocked appropriately. It was not a chilly night in Los Angeles, very few of them were, but shivers still rode up and down his body, and for a moment, he thought that he could almost see his breathe in the air. Seconds later, he clarified that he was insane and should stop with his mind notations and focus once more. Still, he did not like to be kept waiting, and an exasperated sigh escaped his lips once more. He could smell the meal from inside, and a part of him thought he could even smell the same faintness that was on his sheets. But then he regarded himself as crazy, and waited.


notes[/b][/i][/font][/color] sucky intro. D: sorry it took me forever.
status[/b][/i][/font][/color] completeee.
outfit[/b][/i][/font][/color] here.
word count.[/b][/i][/font][/color] 2124
[/size][/blockquote]

[zeus ledbetter.]

living's easy on a house boat - let the motion rock us back and forth to
sleep and in the morning when the sun rise look in the water, see
the blue sky - as if heaven has been laid there at our feet .

__________________

- - - - - -everything seemed to be falling into place as Zeus took a seat on the counter top. His fingerprints leaving several smudges on the fine granite as he whistled to himself trying to remain entertained for the time being. Icarus was in the room so he passed the time by showing the small beast his affection. To think that his pride and joy would not have entered his life if he hadn't suffered a great heart break flabbergasted the guy. Chances were if he ever had the opportunity to make it so his first love would still be in his life if Icarus wasn't Zeus would reject almost automatically. Being in love was one of the most beautiful things the boy had experienced. He honestly couldn't think of how it could get better then that and he longed for love almost every night. If Zeus did this right maybe he could change Paris' opinion. Figuring there was no point in holding high hopes with somebody as stubborn as the boy he would soon be seeing, Zeus couldn't help but day dream. With a little bit of work the boy prayed that his partner would at least develop a tolerance for a few things. Sitting on top of his hands now, Zeus gnawed on his lower lip that was already chapped. He had grown nervous just waiting for Paris. He really wanted the night to go over with out a single flaw. Looking over at the table he figured there was something he could do to make the scene look a bit better. It had appeared presentable at first but now he had no idea as to what he might have been thinking when he agreed this was what he wanted to show Paris for his first real date. Whenever you asked somebody how their first date ever had gone they usually could never remember. That or it was one of their worst nights. Zeus figured it had to be embarrassing being nineteen years old and still have yet to go on an official date but the boy personally thought it was precious on Paris' behalf. He planned on showing the guy that things like this could be fun and a relationship wasn't nearly as bad as what he assumed. Commitment issues or not.


- - - - - -of course things never played out the way we wanted them to and for some reason Zeus' anxiety levels seemed to sky rocket. He needed to keep himself occupied or else he'd just continue to fall victim of his paranoia. To busy himself, Zeus went a grabbed both plates. He had picked up some skills on garnishing a plate so that it looked nice. As many times as Paris had pushed his ability to remain at ease with any situation - Zeus assumed he had only lied to make things less stressful on his behalf. Still the kid had to develop some sort of high expectations whenever he walked through the door or even glance at the property the Ledbetter's owned. Everything they owned, which clearly was a lot, it all was nothing but the highest quality. Zeus had grown accustomed of the best things in life so he had experienced little let downs here and there but they were rare considering his parents money could buy nearly everything. Still he knew they could happen every now and then and if Paris was even part person he'd most likely experienced one in the past. Maybe something major had caused him to pick up such a skewed perspective. Whatever the case Zeus feared fucking things up after everything it felt like he had done to get here so he arranged a salad on the side of each dish. He liked cooking with colors and fresh leaves of lettuce as he laid them out on the plate in a fashionable manner. He dressed them lightly as he sprinkled bits of croutons on the top and bit his lip as he moved the dishes to the stove where he planned to place the main course down perfectly.


- - - - - -lifting the lid of the main meal, Zeus did a decent job as he served the first person and set it aside. Rubbing his lips together while he concentrated on setting things up just right, Zeus spooned another piece of chicken out of the pan. This time things didn't go over as well and poor little Zeus Zeppelin got caught up in his own zone and when the timer for the cookies went off is when the guy lost it. His finger had accidentally come into contact with the hot pan and he had jumped back but when he discovered the sudden temperature change his finger then fell to the burner on the stove that was set to sim. Still such a small flame did it's fair share of damage as the obnoxious beeping in the background continued. He had one of the longest delays when if came to finding out his left index finger was on fire and he let out quite the cry when his attention actually focused in on the damage. Completely freaking out; Zeus dropped his mother's prized china, causing it to shatter as he tried to tend to his frail finger that burned badly. The smell of singed flesh was unbearable as he hustled to the skin while shouting out every unpleasant phrase imaginable, clumsy Zeus knocked whatever might have been salvaged for a second plate. When he heard the splat of sauce on the imported Italian tiled floor Zeus held his breath while the steel pan rattled around on the ground's hard shell. He had no desire to see his hard effort go to waste while running his injured finger under a fossit full of of cold water. It was then that the boy broke down. He hadn't been afraid to cry since the eleventh grade so he really let the tears roll now. The bitter sound of his cookie's blackening still tugged at his top so Zeus stopped his whining for one second to save them from ending up in the same condition as his finger.


- - - - - -feeling more then defeated as he turned off the oven and heard Paris' presence outside his front door Zeus nearly screamed. Restraining himself from ripping his hair that was still brushed and parted, appearing untouched unlike everything else. The rest of him had consumed a frumpy pose and his face looked like a surreal sketch with crocodile tears. As he turned to see his dinner ruined he frowned while heading off for the door. He looked really upset when he pulled it out if it's wooden frame and was sure this wasn't what Paris was interested in seeing. Still he stood with out saying a word and just held his finger up. A bit of sauce had fell on to his cheek, staining it with a clumpy patch of brilliant red. Instead of wiping it off or ever giving the boy any form of a salutation his water works became uncontrollable. Knowing Paris had to be confused, Zeus threw his arms around the boy, his body heaving as he pulled Paris in close to him, collecting his body heat as he buried his head in the kid's shoulder. Carmel coated eyes stayed shut as he gripped onto the guy's layers. He held on tight before giving them both a bit of space for him to explain himself. He looked plenty sad as he hung his head in shame and began to speak in a shaky voice. "I messed up." His weary eyes had gone blood shot as he grabbed Paris' hand and dragged him insider. "Now it's all fucked!" He pushed his body up against the door as his fingers tightened around Paris's petite hand. Growing clingy again Zeus' uneasy voice picked up again. "I wanted to let you experience something nice but then..." Zeus demonstrated what happened through a series of strange hand gestures before he faced Paris and held up his finger. "And then I got burned, it hurts sooo bad." The boy whimpered as he held his battle scar up that was already beginning to blister. "Would you please kiss it better ?" He asked in a childish voice while he pushed the injury into the boy's face basically forcing him to.


- - - - - -zeus knew that Paris had to be so completely turned off by this situation right now. He most likely had grown to regret showing up and now being stuck to take care of the wreck Zeus had become. He was still grouchy from waking up so little ago which was probably why he had zoned out in the kitchen. He was the one to blame for this night not going right and he really wouldn't allow to go on with out beating himself up about all of it. Looking over toward the tiny boy he weakly smiled with all those tears in his eyes. Zeus was one to cry over everything and he couldn't help himself now. Sighing softly as he straightened himself out and stepped forward his forehead showed signs of distress. His toes touched Paris' behind his boots before his good hand fell to the top of Paris' head and he took in the texture of his hat. It was quite distracting and rather goofy looking. Zeus wasn't too sure of what it's purpose was so as he ran his thumb along the beanie's hem he yanked it off and ruffled his auburn curls. He then kissed the kid's cheek still letting everything that had flopped bother him. He still carried a hint of sorrow in his attempted smile before he looked the boy up and down. "You even dressed yourself up..." Sounding nostalgic as he ran a hand down his fancy vest. His eyebrows knitted together as he held his head down low and frowned keeping them in the living area instead of leading him to the disaster zone in the kitchen. "Of course I couldn't do anything impressive for you..." The boy wallowed in his own self pity as he fiddled with the buttons on Paris' blouse. "I'm really sorry." He said sincerely. Chances were the nineteen year old had no idea what was going on and was royally confused at this point. It really wouldn't surprise Zeus if the male made up some excuse to leave after having to hear this much psycho babble already. Taking in a deep breath, Zeus prepared himself for the worse and still paid close attention to the different fabric's stacked on top of Paris' bite sized body trying his best to clear his head.

__________________

[/i][/color][/b][/font][/size] complete.
words , 1768.
notes , worst post ever.
attire , date suit.
[/ul][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/font]

[paris lamphier .]

*

[/b][/i][/font][/color] IT'S ALWAYS HAVE AND NEVER HOLD,
BUT YOU'VE BEGUN TO FEEL LIKE HOME .[/b][/font][/color][/center]


The wait gave him time to collect himself, and surprisingly enough, he didn’t mind. Los Angeles was not his home town, and he had never been fond of it the way he was of San Francisco. Still, there was something about the California air that always got the best of him. Paris had traveled the world, and had been to all the cities that the LamPhier children’s namesake had been given to, and then some. He’d never been interested in the world around him, staying close to the little bubble he had masked himself in for the last three years of his life. Still, he’d tagged along with his father on several occasions, his mother on more, going left and right around the globe. His mother had often said that it was a form of soul searching, but he didn’t understand exactly what he was searching for when he didn’t have a soul to possess. He was never one to believe in god or an afterlife, or an aura that sat inside his chest, living on even after his body died. He believed that when he died, he died and there was nothing left. There had been a time in his life when he was drastically afraid of death, and more so, afraid of the unknown world around him, but that time had come and gone. Too many Xanex ooted into his lungs one day caused his heart to race, induced vomiting and nausea, and cold sweat to encompass his body. It was in that singular moment, he was so positive that he was going to die. In that moment, there was no fear of the unknown, there was no anger for things in his life left unaccomplished, and there was nothing to be held to his “soul” that was theoretically, passing on to another life. He didn’t die that day, and some could call it a miracle. Some would have changed their ways, but it didn’t change Paris at all. He wasn’t born again or anything of the sort- in fact, he disappeared back into his hole he’d created, and he only hoped that he could burry himself alive in it.

Many had tried to figure him out in the past. There was no reason for a boy with as many gifts as he to be so bitter as he was. He had a good family, one that loved him- but he ignored then and tried not to associate. He had wealth, he had a prestigious childhood acting career- he had everything. Psychotherapists by the dozens had looked into his head and tried to figure it out as if he was a case study on a scale of such grandeur, people could barely comprehend. He had walked into the doctors offices and acted enthused, as if he wanted help, when really, the tables ended up turning, and he ended up telling the therapists their issues, rather than them telling him his. Did he care? Absolutely not. He thought the entire process was ridiculous, for no one could tell him anything about himself that he didn’t already know. He knew why he was so emotionless, and he wasn’t one to try and change it. Going back all those years to his childhood was something painful and make him sick to his stomach. His parents had tried to talk to him about it, tried to understand, tried to get him to heal, but it only made things worse, because it had been them who had done it to him. He’d always taken responsibility for himself, and accepted his faults as they came, but it was that one thing- that one little thing he refused to speak of, but couldn’t get off of his mind that plagued him, choked him in his sleep, gave him heart stopping nightmares. It was that one little thing that really wasn’t little at all. In fact, it was the biggest event of his life, and the one he would never take responsibility for.

He wasn’t interested in being figured out anyways. He was not a clock on the wall, that could be pinpointed and grouped into something exact at any given moment, and he never desired to be. It seemed like a lonely existence, to go through life with people being able to define you no matter what was going on in your head. He refused to even let himself get to that level. He refused to let himself do a lot of things he really wanted to do. Shockingly secular thoughts were shooting through his head a hundred thousand miles per hour, as if the air was filling his lungs with all the fanatical notions that had recently sprung into his mind. Reflective thoughts that he’d never bother to think before, and sincerely hoped that he would never bother to think again. He wasn’t interested in having his head in the clouds while the world around him remained to grounded. In the literal sense, it was one of the best feelings in the world, but to everyone else, it put you on the outside. The world around him was so completely peaceful, and he had to do nothing to support it, other than stand there and watch it fall into place. It was the racket behind the door that brought him back to reality, the one that he wanted to be in so bad, but at the same time, wanted to escape. The statement was still ringing through his mind, causing him to question everything around him. Why didn’t he want to be here? The answer was simple enough. Because he’d rather be getting high. He shook his head to himself for a moment, because he knew that wasn’t the true answer, and he asked himself the same question again, this time coming up with a different answer entirely. Because he was afraid. Terrified, completely on edge with every second that drew closer to Zeus opening the door. The boy scared him- literally, half of it being in the best ways, and half of it being in the worst of ways- but not in the way the yelp tore through the air around him.

All in an instant, one that shocked him at just how fast it occurred, the door was swung open, and he was met with the charming, disgustingly attractive ZZL, looking like he was in quite the tiff. Before he could even begin to comprehend what was going on, a finger was pressed against his lips and he was ordered to kiss, so he did, because to reject the person in front of him of anything seemed like too much to bear at the moment. It only took him a moment to realize that he was crying. Paris was not a nice boy, and he never pretended to be- he never faked and he never fabricated, he never lied and he never joked around because he knew that no one liked a faker, but this was on an entirely new level for him. On any other day, at any other time, he knew exactly what he would have done. Stood there with his unpleasant grimace on his face, and told him to stop being such a little bitch. There was no reason for a grown man of his age and stature to be crying about anything- regardless of what it was. He’d always hated emotion and everything that went along with it, and people who expressed it as shamelessly as Zeus Ledbetter made him want to take an Adderall before he lost his mind. Today, however, was not unlike any other day, and he was in a mood- what the mood was, he couldn’t tell. It wasn’t compassion and it wasn’t acceptance- defeat, defeat and exhaustion and the echo of three words ringing through the air that he had never heard before, and he swore that if he heard again, they would never sound so sweet. It was good to know he wasn’t the only one messing up these days. “Hey-” He said calmly, arms moving to the waist of the boy in front of him, head tilted to the side. “What’s wrong?” and left it at that. More and more babbling came from Zeus, Paris struggling to understand exactly what had gone wrong and what had caused such an upset in the other boy, but the more he tried to understand, the more lost he got. He really forgot about trying to understand at that moment, and focused more on his actions. His fight hand slid it’s way up Zeus’ side as he listened to him talk, slowly, inching it’s way up the silhouette that he was so god forsakenly attracted to, brushing across his cheek and just under his eye, lashes wet and sparkling with tears, wiping a few of them away.

He was still more lost than ever, and trying to keep up, hat suddenly gone from his head and wondering just what was going on. A kiss on his cheek didn’t help to clarify. “I didn’t dress up. I just got dressed.” He stated, trying to talk the boy down from the state he’d got himself into. Then, it all started to come together in his mind. Whatever it was, it was his fault. As usual, always his fault, everything around him, and he didn’t act surprised. “Hey, calm down, alright. Whatever happened, it’s not important. I just came here for you.” He said softly, lowering his voice as if he was telling a secret for only the two of them to hear. “Just for you.” And he meant it.


notes[/b][/i][/font][/color] sucky intro. D: sorry it took me forever.
status[/b][/i][/font][/color] complete.
outfit[/b][/i][/font][/color] here.
word count.[/b][/i][/font][/color] 1775
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