, called it off so late at night.

[auburn locke]

I GOT A PLACE IN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE,
I'VE GOT A PLACE THAT I PAINTED WHITE.

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-----Grocery shopping wasn't something that the lanky nineteen year old male was all that particularly fond of doing, but it was one of those things that someone in every household just had to do - unfortunately, that someone always ended up being no one other than Auburn Locke himself. It's not like he minded all that much, since food was a necessity and this was the proper way to get it. There was just no excitement in pushing a clanky metal cart down aisle after aisle, always pausing for far too long to decide whether Caiden would rather have Lucky Charms or Fruity Pebbles, or maybe even both, or maybe even neither. Then there was the fact that Auburn's scrawny arms had to haul at least three gallons of milk into the cart, simply because the two boys drank milk as if it was the same thing as breathing air, and there just always had to be an extra gallon of it in the fridge. After spending about an hour or so among the countless shelves of food and the seemingly endless amount of scurrying mothers, it was off to wait in a line where the only source of entertainment was a rack full of celebrity gossip magazines. Today's particular shopping adventure cost exactly sixty two dollars and twenty eight cents, but after shoving over a handful of coupons to the unenthusiastic teenage girl working the register, the price was reduced to fifty eight dollars and eight cents, which was a tad bit more reasonable but still not much of a bargain. Auburn thanked the girl and proceeded to push the too heavy cart through the automatic doors and toward the direction of his car, all the while thinking how grateful he was that Caiden wasn't here right now because this would definitely be the perfect opportunity to make fun of Auburn for being 'motherly,' as Caiden so often described him as.

-----Of course Auburn knew that Caiden was just playing around when he said things like that. Caiden had been in a pretty serious relationship with him for nearly three years now - Auburn was pretty sure that Caiden was entitled to joke around every once in awhile, but sometimes it did get a little aggravating. Auburn couldn't really help getting annoyed sometimes, but maybe if he wasn't paranoid all the time he would just be able to sit back and laugh about everything like any normal teenager would do. He couldn't help thinking that his paranoia sometimes got in the way of him and Caiden's relationship. Auburn always took everything so seriously and was offended so easily that it was just almost impossible for Caiden to joke around and not have Auburn feel a little hurt. All of this was sort of running through Auburn's mind too fast as he unlocked the trunk of his car, his lips silently forming the words to a song that was stuck in his head as he emptied out the shopping cart, carefully placing each bag full of his purchases into the back of the car, where they could remain safely for the drive home. His long fingers gripped the door of the trunk and slammed it shut once he was finished, returning the cart before heading over to open up the driver's door and take a seat on the cold leather.

-----With all distractions gone except for the traffic, it was easy to let his mind wander again. It was hard not to be a little hurt. Like sometimes when Caiden would talk about the sex he had used to have with other people; it made Auburn feel as if he wasn't nearly enough to satisfy his boyfriend. Why else would Caiden be talking about those kind of things if he didn't feel as if Auburn was living up to the standards that Tallon had already set? Auburn hated being compared to other people, and Caiden compared, even if he didn't mean to. Auburn had never made love with anyone before Caiden, and so he wasn't exactly sure whether he was doing well or not when it came to keeping up with Caiden's needs, but if he was sure of one thing, it was that Tallon had done extremely well. That wasn't a very pleasant thing to be sure of, honestly. Sometimes it scared Auburn how much he had given Caiden - his virginity, his heart, even an invitation to share an apartment with him. Caiden hadn't given Auburn his virginity, far from it actually, based on what Auburn had heard about Caiden's past. That wasn't such a bad thing though, since it was kind of nice that Caiden knew what he was doing because Auburn had been scared and nervous and unsure of everything besides the fact that he was ready.

-----It was stupid, but every once in awhile Auburn would think about this seminar he had to participate in his sophomore year of high school, and he could just remember his health teacher saying like, "Your virginity is the most precious gift that you can give someone. Wouldn't it be special to find out that the person you marry has saved themselves for you their whole life? Wouldn't it be wonderful to know that the person you've married hasn't already given themselves to someone else?" It wasn't like anyone actually listened to their high school health teachers preach on about how important it was to wait to have sex, but still, Auburn could clearly remember thinking "yes" in his head as a response to each of those questions. And Caiden hadn't saved himself for him at all. He'd given himself to Tallon already, and even if the two of them were not together any longer, Auburn was sure that the memory of losing his virginity to Tallon wouldn't be leaving Caiden's mind any time soon. Auburn just knew it. You don't forgot something like that. Auburn wouldn't ever forget losing his to Caiden, that was for sure.

-----Now he was beginning to think too much. He was sure of this when he noticed his bony hands were beginning to shake as they gripped the steering wheel in front of him. The hand shaking was definitely not the best sign in the world; it meant that it would probably be best for him to go in his room before his emotions really started going crazy. Too bad his bedroom wasn't really all that close to Walmart. The only comfort he had right now was Bright Eyes, and so Auburn turned the music up a little louder with every mile or so until he could finally see the apartment complex where he lived with Caiden in the distance. He let out a relieved sigh as he pulled into the familiar parking space, and within moments the car was turned off and Auburn was opening up the trunk again so that he could grab a few plastic bags and haul them up to their apartment. There were more than just a few bags, because Auburn hated going grocery shopping, so he tended to buy things in bulk just so that he wouldn't have to go to the store quite as much. He grabbed three bags and closed the trunk, figuring that he could get Caiden to come down and help him get the rest. That way they'd only have to make one more trip and could carry on being lazy the rest of the day. As he walked toward the building, he told himself that he didn't need to worry about anything. Him and Caiden had been together for a long time, and as far as he knew that wasn't going to change. All of this worrying was silly.

-----Minutes later, the door of the apartment that the two boys shared flung open and Auburn entered, not even waiting until the door was completely closed before he shouted into the quiet, "Caiden, come here! Help me get the rest of the groceries, okay?" He wasn't even sure if Caiden had heard him. Knowing Caiden, he was probably sleeping right now, or maybe he wasn't even home. Auburn set the bags down on the kitchen counter before calling Caiden's name again just to make sure he was heard.

for, caiden moore and his sexy v-necks
outfit, you love it
status, finished
words, 1532
notes, oh mat.

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[caiden moore]

i know that you're spent, just let me sing you to sleep.

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-----Caiden buried himself deeper into the warm and fluffy blankets of the bed he shared with Auburn. His hair still damp from the shower he took fifteen minutes ago. His nose buried deeper into the pillowcase, his arms slipping and holding it tightly to his own chest as he concentrated on trying to even out his breaths so he could finally fall asleep. The only thing he recalled out of the whole day was Auburn saying that they needed more cereal and milk and other groceries that Caiden didn’t even try to remember what Auburn said, which led to a bit of conflict after Auburn huffed and Caiden asked him what. The answer to his question was the quiet slam of the door. Caiden shrugged off the whole fight, and dragged himself off of the ratty couch they got off at some garage sale that an old couple was having a few years back, and went into the shower. He took some of the orange shampoo that he normally used and scrubbed at his hair roughly, his blunt nails scratching at his scalp till he was sure that his hair was clean enough to get washed. After more rough scrubbing and sculpting his hair into a Mohawk – which he then flattened because he looked idiotic – Caiden washed at his body and then stepped out of the shower the minute he was sure that he was done. He tossed on a tight white shirt that he usually wore when he felt like sleeping in usually and some plaid flannel pajamas pants that Auburn probably wore. Caiden tossed himself on the bed after getting dressed and buried himself deep into the blankets. He sighed gently and wished he went to the store with Auburn because he could be riding in a shopping and making fun of how Auburn was a woman in the relationship.

-----Thinking of what Caiden usually did to Auburn, he realized he pushed his boyfriend’s buttons too many times, but Caiden hated being serious. In the three years of their relationship Caiden had learned that Auburn took things too seriously, but the younger of the two had learnt to deal with it. Caiden liked to joke around when everything was too serious, he wanted to lighten up the atmosphere in anyway possible. Of course, Auburn had always blamed his paranoia for him being too serious, and he usually apologized because he couldn’t sit back and laugh at the jokes Caiden usually told, but he brushed it off and gave him a hug. Caiden wasn’t usually all that funny anyway. He knew he hurt Auburn’s feelings on a daily basis, and it’s not intentional, but Caiden couldn’t stop himself from cracking jokes every now and again. His thin body shuffles and switch positions quickly as he tries to go to sleep. His arms wrapped tighter around the soft white pillows. He shook his head a few times trying to find a comfortable position. A few minutes later Caiden opened his chocolate eyes and stared at the ceiling, because he really didn’t have anything else to do.


-----He kept thinking of the current problem Auburn and him were experiencing. He knew he should’ve kept his mouth shut when he was talking about having sex with other people, but he didn’t mean anything by it. Auburn lived up to his standards – if he had any – and his excelled in them very much. When Caiden was younger and his daily sex intake was from Tallon it was usually sloppy and it didn’t hold anything. Yeah, back when they were together they used to say that they were in love when they had sex, but it was different now. Now, Caiden was actually in love with Auburn and the sex they had was actually something special. He never really thought before he spoke, especially around Auburn, so when he began to tell Auburn about his sex life he forgot about the whole paranoia situation. Caiden never really made love to anyone else but Auburn, because every sexual encounter before Auburn was just meaningless sex. He didn’t want Auburn to be sure of anything, because Caiden knew Auburn surpassed any sexual encounter he ever experienced. Caiden remembered everything that Auburn gave him. Second chances, his virginity, his love, even the chance to share an apartment with him, pretty much everything he could. And what did Caiden give him? Some heartbreak, sex, and his feelings hurt a little bit everyday. Caiden really wondered why Auburn put up with him everyday. Caiden was sure of one thing though; he wanted to spend everyday with Auburn. He snuck a peek at the bedside table, and inside the drawer he knew there was a little black box with a little wedding band in it, and with the thought that he was going to propose to his boyfriend made his cheeks turn red and him throw the blanket over his head. His stomach twisted nervously as he chewed at his lip and gripped the blanket and placed it around his shoulders. Caiden didn’t remember the first time that he had sex with Tallon, because they had sex too many times, but he was sure that it hurt like hell and he was crying probably, and he was robbed of his innocence. He could remember the first time with Auburn. He remembered every touch and every emotion that he poured into that night. He remembered Auburn crying and how he held him close and told him that everything was going to be okay, and in the morning the next day they held each other close.

-----Caiden remembered getting beaten up once because someone found out that he had sex with Tallon. He remembered getting shoved down the stairs and his head splitting open and his head requiring getting some stitches. He thought that it was fine that he had sex with a boy, because he was in love with him. He thought that you were suppose to give something special to the person you loved, and Caiden thought it was only right to give up his virginity to Tallon. He thought it was the right thing, but he just ended up getting beaten up in the end of it. He never talked about his sex life and he made Tallon promise he wouldn’t either, but he wasn’t even sure if Tallon kept the promise or not, because he would get beaten up anyway. He didn’t want to remember any of the nights he shared with Tallon, because he would remember the after math when he spent nights crying himself to sleep, but it didn’t matter anymore. He loved Auburn far too much to even want to remember any sexual encounter.

-----He leaned his head against the bed headboard and took calming breaths as he held the blanket tighter to himself. He felt his body get cooler and his still stuffy nose from the after math of his fever made it a bit hard for him to breathe normally. He looked at the ceiling and counted how many times he blinked because his mind was far too awake for him to try and to fall asleep. He listened to the sounds outside the apartment room, the cars racing past and the dogs barking and the occasional ambulance siren ringing past the room. There in a second and gone just as quickly. He heard a car turn into the apartment parking lot near the building and the opening of a trunk and he held a small smile because he somehow knew that it was Auburn, and the thought that he was home made his stomach twist in a good way. Throwing the blanket beside him and picking himself up, Caiden walked into the kitchen. Finding the last bit of orange juice he drank it down, and hoped his stomach could keep it down, and he needed some boosting in his system, because he knew Auburn would leave the heavy things and the majority of the groceries for him to take up to their room and then they would just lounge around and sleep the whole day. Or other plans if Caiden was going to get what he wanted today. His stomach felt uneasy as his thoughts flashed back to the little black box hidden in the bedside table.

-----His body jumped as he heard the apartment door open and saw Auburn enter the room with three bags in his too skinny arms. He heard Auburn’s honey voice yell into the apartment and Caiden smiled and snorted a bit as he knew the he was going to have to get the groceries. He shuffled up to Auburn as he placed the bags down and snaked his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and kissed the skin behind his earlobe. “You’re so cute when you yell, you know that?” He asked simply before letting go of his waist. He didn’t wait for an answer as he walked out into the apartment hallway and down the three stories before he went to Auburn’s car and getting the rest of the groceries. Coming upstairs he kept a small smile on his pale pink lips as he entered the room again.

-----Setting the groceries down on the kitchen counter next to the ones Auburn placed not too long ago. His coffee brown eyes stared into Auburn’s honey eyes and his heart’s beat picked up speed as he kept thinking back to the ring. He gripped onto Auburn’s long fingers and brought himself a tiny bit closer to him as Caiden leaned in and kissed his lips gently. A warm feeling spread throughout his stomach as he gripped a bit harder on Auburn’s hand, intertwining their fingers a little bit. Breaking away just a few moments after he kissed Auburn, he stared into his eyes again with a little shy smile. “How was your day?” Caiden asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt the moment they just shared.

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words : 1662
clothing : sexiness, mayne!
currently : talking to you & watching zoey 101.
notes : they're sexy, daniel.
is this shit finished yet? why yes, yes it is!

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