not hard to fall ,

[jet]

-------Six AM and already the morning sun had rose to warm the city of Los Angeles for another day. With a soft groan that could be considered nothing less than one of annoyance the boy rose from his sleep, startled when he noticed the naked blonde sleeping next to him and himself still wearing, skinny jeans? He rolled his eyes at his mistakes and rain a hand over his face, trying to will away the impending feeling of sleep that seemed to not want to leave. Knowing that that was indeed what would happen if he didn't get up he slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed, letting his feet touch the sun warmed floor. The city that had been so alive the night before, just like himself, had quieted down for maybe two hours and now was bustling again with the morning rush. He felt like he moved with the city really, only sleeping the few hours when things got even the slightest bit quieter than the normal day. To this day it amazed him that he found himself in such a place. If you had told him even two years ago that he would be in love with a girl and in the city of LA he would have laughed in your face. That truth was one that still scared him. He didn't know what to do with these new changes in his life, didn't know how to respond without fucking up and having to restart all over again like a bad video game. This was a good place, fucking it up would be the last thing he wanted to do to himself though the impending doubt of himself that lingered never ceased to cause anything less than the utmost turmoil within himself. ”Mmm, babe, come back to bed,” muttered the blonde form behind him, now on her knees and kissing his neck. He'd not even realized that she'd gotten up already. It took him quite a while to respond but it was simple and clearly she understood because as he stood up and walked out of the room her expression changed from excitement to disappointment faster than anyone thought possible. He was done with this, done with everyone but her.

-------Mistakes were something that Jet Evrett was all too fond of making. One too many times had he fucked something up, something that could have been amazing. He was done with it all, done making mistakes. His last was going to be the blonde he now heard getting dressed in the other room quite noisily, bitching that he'd not come back to bed and complaining like she wished they were lovers. "In your fucking dreams," he thought out loud as she walked by. He assumed she'd heard him when she left at the tone of a slamming door. Normally he didn't want to let the good ones go and she was damn good but this was different. What he knew as normal had gone out the window long ago, if there ever was such a thing. Normal had ended with a Princeton man on a mission for the same girl had wanted for so long but never confessed. Occasionally he blamed himself for not getting to her first but truth be told, he had been scared of what might have happened if he'd asked her to be more than just a friend to him. Friends with benefits, as much as he hated to say it, wasn't enough anymore. He wanted to take care of her and as easy as it sounded to just forget about her he couldn't do it. Drugs, booze, sex and thousands of miles hadn't been able to do the trick and nothing else would. The hot water washed over his bare skin and still worn skinny jeans that he'd forgotten to take off, nor did he care to. He stood motionless in the steady steam of water, thinking for nearly an hour, his bill just kept going up and up by the day.

-------Nimbly, fingers glided over the flat screen of the iphone held in his hands. He was typing a message to Havana after not being able to escape her in his head. "I'm coming," was all he typed on the screen before sending it to her. He didn't know if she would be home, maybe there was some other guy he didn't know about, hell, maybe she had fucking gone into labor three months early. Anything was possible but he wanted to believe she would be there, he didn't want to have to hunt her down through her brother or some stupid shit. With that sent he quickly changed, not really knowing why he felt the urge to at this very moment but he had a feeling it was the instinct to need to impress a mate, as retarded as that sounded in his head it was quite true. Women and men did that sort of thing all the time, trying to impress one another, to get the approval of one or the other. Now that he was changed, however, the real test of good impressions would begin.

-------It didn't take long at all for the boy to arrive at the door of his favorite member of the Alexander family, which wasn't exactly saying much, since he really didn't know her brothers or other family members and planned to keep it that way. Older siblings always meant trouble, he'd learned form past experiences and they weren't always pleasant to deal with. Even if you can handle yourself well you don't want to mess with older brothers, that's for sure. For quite some time Jet stood outside her door. He had no idea if she was in there or not, didn't really know where else she might be so even if she weren't he'd wait for her. Never had he been clearer on how he felt but how he was going to tell her was going to be a different story. That he had no idea how to do. He lifted his fist to knock on the door in front of him but hesitated once more, a lump created in his throat was slowing him down along with the impending sound of dramatic movie music that was playing in his head like repeat on his itunes. Before he could knock the door opened and Havana stood in front of him with a box. As he looked past her he noticed that everything was in boxes, ”Where are you going?” He was polite with his questioning and took the box from her, knowing it wasn't good for the baby she had been carrying now for six months. Patiently he waited for an answer form her.

words idkkk, 1100.
clothes dfosdnf, banner.
song kolll durrr.
notes ylm.

[havana alexander]

-------There were lots of things that Havana wished for in life, a lot more than seemed possible at times. Sometimes life just seemed so over whelming that she couldn’t deal with it. The one thing that she wished for the most was the more hours in the day, or maybe it was in the night. As Havana stretched in her bed, in the house that was in complete disarray, the house where there were piles of boxes that she didn’t know what to do with. The ceiling fan to her clean white bedroom, clanked as she stared at the ceiling with a hand covering her belly and her other hand stretched behind her head. She couldn’t believe that she had gone to sleep almost eight hours ago when it just seemed like she had turned off the light, then again she couldn’t believe that it had already been six months of carrying around this baby. It seemed like just yesterday that she was having that classic teen pregnancy moment of sitting on the edge of her bathroom with a pregnancy test in hand and thinking ‘Oh my god. What can I possibly do now,’ But here she was, in the home stretch, well not really the home stretch since obviously she still had three more months of waiting, it seemed like days got slower and slower as they passed, maybe since Jet had appeared it had gotten slower.

-------Jet, she thought, her hand circling her stomach as she hummed to herself. She finally decided that she had to get a move on it, and so she slowed eased herself out of bed, yawning just like a cat as she went from her bed to her bathroom. She could hear the faint trace of Los Angeles traffic so early in the morning as she turned on the faucet and she slipped out of her clothes. She had to admit that people weren’t lying when they said that being pregnant made everything ache, or maybe it was the fact that she had spent two days with Noah and her body just ached, she thought the whole point of being pregnant was so that guys wouldn’t look at you twice because obviously you were taken. But not to some guys to some guys, being pregnant was sexy, and apparently to Noah Tucker she was. She thought that she had finally found someone that she could trust when she found Noah, sure she knew who he was, since obviously he was one of the things that Ares did complain to her about. Although she couldn’t decide whether she was ready to do this, well not be with Noah since obviously that wasn’t a choice anymore seeing as he had gone running back to Hannah, but she didn’t know if she was ready to give up her baby to him, like she said she was going to. She was so sure of it until she had heard from Jet.


-------She turned off the faucet and stepped out of the shower. She grabbed a soft white towel and gently rubbed the extra water off before wrapped it around herself and going back into her bedroom, it wasn’t exactly the right length anymore since her stomach took a lot more towel to cover up these days. She shifted through her draws looking for something that would fit today, since it was always an uphill battle at what to find next that would fit. She finally pulled out this huge green dress, a dress that she was pretty sure that she needed to wear tights under but she knew they were in the bottom draw of her dresser and if she sat down she would never be able to get back up without a crane to help her. She dropped her towel and found a pair of boy short undies and then had to roam through her bra collection, she tried sliding one around her midsection and up but it was pointless, with no mother around she had no idea if pregnant women had to wear special bras, so she just threw it aside and slipped on the green dress without a second though. She made her way through the living room and surveyed the giant mess, and was about to start moving boxes when her stomach made a leap of protest and Molly kicked her squarely in the ribs. ”Alright breakfast it is,”

[/color] She went into her kitchen state of the art, all stainless steel and grabbed a bottle of milk out of the fridge and a bowl of Captain crunch from the cabinet. She poured herself a bowl of it and sat down on one of the bar stools contemplating the work of the day. Ever since she had heard that Noah and Hannah were back together she had a strong feeling that she wasn’t going to be moving in with him any time soon. And that was probably when she decided that she was going to keep the baby.


-------Maybe it wasn’t just that Noah had found someone else to be with, maybe it was the fact that her brother was happy, and everyone else around her was happy also that made her feel so alone. So she had decided to do what she had talked about for the larger part of her pregnancy, she was going to New York. But there was one thing that had never been part of the plan, she had never planned to take Molly with her. That was her name, Molly, she had decided because as she was packing up boxes, she was unpacking boxes from when she had moved here just five months ago, and had run across a stack of DVDs, since her father had decided for her college career she needed a video camera that went ahead and recorded DVDs so that she could easily show him what she had been up to, most of it was stupid stuff, just her walking around the campus talking with one friend or another, but there was one with the simple title, Jet and Havana. She had popped it into the DVD player and let it run, it had focused blurry at first but then become sharper and sharper until it focused on her and Jet in her dorm room, probably six months before she had gotten pregnant, they had set the video camera on her desk table so all you could see were the undersides of their feet, but you could hear them as they talked. Havana hadn’t been sure if they had known that the camera was on at that time. But it seemed like they talked about everything, and the killer was when Havana had asked Jet what his favorite name was and he had said Havana, and she had laughed and asked what if you and to choose a name other than Havana, and he had thought about it for a moment before saying, Molly. She had let the DVD finish but she hadn’t heard anything else they had said, because even with Noah Tucker doing everything he could to convince her, Jet Evrett had just convinced her with that one word.

-------She finally got up from where she was sitting. Her cell phone had buzzed from where she had left it the night before, but she ignored it she figured it could be one of two people and she wasn’t too keen on talking to either of them at the moment. She stood in the living room; she figured that she could move some of the boxes outside, or at least the ones that she was sending ahead of her to New York, while some of the others were staying here with the furniture, and others she was taking with her on the drive to New York. Some people would say that she was insane for taking a road trip from Los Angeles to New York, but she figured she couldn’t fly anyway, and she didn’t want her baby to be born in this city, she had already told her father that she would try and check in with Christo everyday if not every once and while just so they knew she was ok. She lifted one of the first boxes, boxes of photo albums and books and had to stretch away from her stomach, she made it to the front hall, waddling as she went, and then made the smooth maneuver she was getting use to of opening a door without hands. But standing in front of her was someone that she didn’t expect at all, because Jet looked almost as nervous as the day she had told Thaddeus that she was pregnant. Before she could open her mouth he had taken the box from her, and the question had come spilling out, the question that she had been hoping to avoid. She stood there for a while, looking at him, before answering. ”What makes you think I’’m going somewhere,”[/color] she said trying to sound normal. She lifted her arms to take the box back, but before she could, Molly gave her another swift kick, and her hand flew to her stomach in shock. She tried to compose herself once more, but with one had still resting on her stomach she flipped her dark, still damp hair over her shoulder and said, ”The better question would be, what are you doing here,”

words 1564 something.
clothes hurrrr
song knocked up by the amazing, fabulous, and your newest obsession kings of leon
notes ylm & ily, it's a wonderful relationship. and the magenta hair, owns[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jet]

-------From the moment she had stepped to the door Jet had been studying her, noticing the changes in her body that had clearly taken place. It looked like a basketball was taking refuge beneath her dress and her chest, well, it had improved. He noticed quickly when her expression changed and he instantly let go of the box, in case she had happened to fall or something. When he realized it was just the baby he looked down quickly. ”Obviously you're going somewhere or you were too lazy to unpack when you got here,” he said simply, waiting for the flush of red to leave his cheeks before he looked up at her again. Every possible reason for her to be leaving entered his thoughts. He couldn't help but think it was because of something he had done. Maybe she hadn't ever wanted to see him again, maybe he was forcing her to run away. Hurt was clearly seen at a simple glimpse into his eyes. He didn't mean for it to be, didn't want it to be because he still wasn't sure how to show his feelings to her. He hadn't ever been in a real relationship, not one where he wanted to be faithful at least, not one he thought might last for years. ”I texted you saying I was coming,” he told her, his voice weakening with ever word. He felt like a little girl about to cry over not getting a new Hannah Fucking Montana doll that she wanted. He was clearly annoyed with himself more than anything for being this way. He hated showing his feelings to someone, even Havana. emotions were looked down upon in his family. His father, who he'd looked up to for so long, had always pressured him to be better, he wanted his son to be, as the song goes, harder, better, faster, strong. That was what his father wanted for him and for years and years that was what he intended to get, fifteen to be exact until the day he over dosed, the day of Jet's fifteenth birthday. Hell of a fucking present dad.

-------Not wanting something to happen with the baby or something he suggested the go inside and let her lead him into the cardboard city she had going on in the state of the art apartment. He cursed himself when he almost forgot the box he had dropped outside, oops. Now that he thought about it he wondered if he had broken something. hopefully he hadn't but even if he had, it was in precaution for her safety which was the more important thing to him if not the most. If there was anyone in the world that Jet considered to be family it was Havana Alexander. His three brothers had been dead to him sine he had left London and he'd never gotten along with his whore of a mother. To him, that's all she was, a whore who had had his own brothers with three other men than his father. Why the man had stuck around so long was beyond him. Actually, now that he was thinking about it, he was kind of doing the same thing for Vana, though she had never had his child, just some other douche bag's. That's what you got a Princeton, a whole load of grade a number one ass hole spawn of the rich, famous, fortunate and a few cases based on sheer dumb luck. Jet had gotten in on dumb luck though he did fit in with those ass holes for the most part. Really, the only difference was that he wasn't banging the cheerleaders that everyone else did. He didn't understand how they could even get remotely offended when he called them whores, it was undeniable ! They had slept with every frat guy in the fucking place and more. It was like a Lifetime movie only worse because it was reality and a never ending one at that.

-------Princeton, if Jet was to be completley honest, wasn't all that bad really, not at all. Havana had made it bearable for him. They'd both had quite a bit in common and not to mention their nights together were the best he could remember. Maybe it was only because there were repeats so there were at least bits and pieces of various nights stuck in his memory. There was one he remembered, where she had had that stupid ass camera with her that she insisted on video taping him on. She had got him to do a handstand when he was drunk and since then she had claimed it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. He'd though he'd broke his fucking neck that night it hurt so god damn bad but if it amused her and he was alive it was alright by him. He'd do anything for her and had clearly shown it by getting his own ass kicked out of Princeton. He had gladly taken the fall for her when some douche had tried hitting on her and thought it was smart to test his fighting abilities, clearly he hadn't taken them to the next level because Jet had easily kicked his fucking ass and made his nose drip the red like crazy. What happened after he had gotten the out was what bothered him more than anything.

------- Jet had always been Havana's chem partner and when he'd left they had had to replace him with someone else. It happened to be convenient that a transfer from brown had come in that week and was gladly taking the spot now just on the fake ass wooden chem lab stool next to Havana but the spot next to her in bed. Jet hadn't ever been more with her than just friends, he hadn't really ever though about it until that night that had lead him to being removed form the University. He hadn't ever told a soul but when he had been originally going to see Havana that night it was because he had wanted to ask her but, wanted to be more to her than just a friend with endless benefits. He wanted to be her hero, like she had mentioned the other day in their msn conversation. He wanted to be her skinny jean wearing knight in shining armor and he had wanted to admit that. Unfortunately an exceptionally good looking man of far less trouble came into her life and became that knight in his pressed khaki's, endless sweater vests and monogrammed blazers. Jet had seen her, thought she was happy, so he left her alone. It both hurt and enraged him to, on one hand, think about that man that had taken his place in her heart or whatever it was they had been and, on the other, rage for seeing what he had done to her. He'd left her with their child and nothing more. What a grade a number one ass hole spawn of the wealthy that douche was.

words idkkk, 1271.
clothes dfosdnf, banner.
song kolll durrr.
notes ylm & ily, let's get together and marry kol.

[havana alexander]

-------The thing about being pregnant with Havana is the problem that she had never felt more alone in her life. Everyone thought that you couldn’t feel lonely with another person growing inside of you, you couldn’t feel depressed or like there was no one else for you, but you could, just ask Havana. When Thaddeus had left she hadn’t known what to do for a day, that’s when she had remembered what Ares had said about Los Angeles a long time ago. That’s when she had decided to leave it hadn’t gone very well because for the most part, she and Ares did not get along at all, they probably had at some time, but she had always resented him for picking the mob over being her brother, not that she was family orientated or anything but she felt like she might as well give it. With Thaddeus not answering his telephone and with Havana not willing to play chase with him, if he had wanted to leave her, fine that was his problem and not hers. She just wasn’t sure why it had bothered her so much in the first place. But all that had been waiting to greet her when she had gotten to Los Angeles was a bucket full of drama, and an angry sister in law. Havana hadn’t really meant to upset Maddie when she had said that she was probably just jealous that Havana could get pregnant and she couldn’t, but Havana had such a rush of feelings after finding out that her brother just thought of her as a skank and not as a sister, just as another mistake in the family.

-------The box of books hit the floor with a thud, and Havana jumped even more at the sound of that. She noticed that Jet did a once over of her body, not exactly a quick once over on his part, he of course lingered on her stomach, although not on the shortness of her dress. Then his eyes lingered on her chest, and she felt the flames of a blush running up her face, suddenly punching herself for not preparing for visitors better. Then again it wasn’t like Jet hadn’t seen her walking around naked her dorm room, or seen her skinny dipping when they had gone to Spain together before sophomore year. They stood in the doorway for a minute more, as Jet talked to her and she listened, shifting anxiously from foot to foot, wondering if he was going to stare at her anymore. Appearance had never been a huge huge deal with her, but when she got pregnant and she had started to show, she had started to wear one of the many diamond rings that she owned on her ring finger just because it had made her feel a little less alone, after a while, after her fight with Ares she had just felt pretty stupid for wearing it, and so she had quit. Now having to deal with the stares without the fall back of a lie. He asked his questions, well questions in response to her questions, it was like a never ending game with him. Sometimes she wondered what made him care so much about her, after all she had left him, left him from whatever sort of relationship they had had. It was sort of depressing to leave your best friend and then find out you had made a mistake the whole time.


-------Before she had time to answer he said they might as well go inside, she was use to this, she was use to being relaxed with Jet, not having to stand outside her apartment door. She turned on hell, not as fast as she would have liked, but having a lot of extra weight on you, and she made her way slowly toward the living room, then decided to turn down the hall that led to her bedroom. ”You can just leave the box in there,

[/color] she said absentmindedly, hearing the soft tread of his shoes behind her. They stopped for a minute while he set the box down, with a little thump and then carried on behind her. She pushed open the door to her room, and then went straight to the balcony that lead to over look the pool and the beach behind her condo. She rolled back the screen door, and then stepped on to the balcony into the, for a change, cool Los Angeles weather. She settled down in the cushioned white lounge chair, that had come with the condo. She decided that she could answer his questions, but she answered them in reverse order. ”I don’t really answer my phone that much anymore, I’m avoiding people,”[/color] she said leaning back but not stretching her legs out to the end of the chaise lounge chair. She watched Jet as he took the longue chair beside her, not bothering to lean back but to turn so that he was facing her. She tapped her stomach lightly. ”My brother has just been pestering me about some stuff,”[/color] she said. She sat there for a while, they sat there, was more like it, she wasn’t alone now. Then she leaned up and put her legs over the side, so that her and Jet’s knees were touching, and she reached out and touched his face first, having the most uncontrollable urge to kiss him, but she didn’t. Instead she trailed her hands down his neck to wear a necklace hung that she had given him, she played with it for a moment.

-------”I was going to move in with Noah, but I’m not, anymore,”[/color] she said, not sadly someone could say but almost as if they had come to accept the truth and it was ok with them. She pulled her hand away from his neck and set it back on her belly, an annoying habit that she was going to have to break when she finally had Molly. She watched his face for a reaction Jet use to be such an easy read for her, she use to just look into his eyes once and know what he was thinking, at least most days she did. Some days she was at a complete loss of words for what he was thinking, but he was still her best friend, when she couldn’t figure it out for herself, all she had to do was ask. Jet had never been like a girl friend to him, someone who she could just share everything with. He had always been the person that she had gone out with to have a good time, someone who she could make crazy stupid decisions with and it wouldn’t matter in the morning, because they never judged each other back when they were at Princeton. They had been the best of friends. ”I’m moving to New York, Jet,[/color] she said. ”Movers are coming to pick things up and fly them to New York for my apartment, and then I’m taking the rest of the stuff, with me, on a road trip,”[/color] Havana said pulling her dress down, just now noticing that with a little more wiggle she might as well just take the whole thing off it wasn’t doing her much good. ”I’m leaving, Jet, there’s nothing left for me here,”[/color]

words 1222
clothes hurrrr
song alternating between the weeks and kings of leon
notes i'm telling you, we marry brandon flowers first, who is in fact mormon and then ta da.....wait can a woman be married to another husband....who cares [/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jet]

-------When Havana started talking about her brother he started thinking of his own. He had three of them, himself being the youngest. Ollie was the one just above him, only about a year older. The guy looked nothing like him, then again, what do you expect when you're mother is a cheap ass mother, rather, father fucking whore who had four boys by four men. And who the fuck names their accidental baby Ollie? Was she trying to doom him to a fate similar to that of Oliver Twist? Whatever the reason be, most likely drugs and probably alcohol too, it sure wasn't a name fit for a guy that look like he could throw your ass across a room and beat the living shit out of you without breaking a sweat. Certainly the name did not fit the body at all but actually, unless provoked, his brother was a fairly decent guy. Knocked up a few chicks in his day but not everyone learns from mommy's mistakes and in his case, daddy's too. If he thought about it he realized that even if his father had over dosed and killed himself he at wasn't at least half as low life as these other mother fuckers his mother decided to fuck before him. Next there was Ozzy, named after his father who was supposedly the famous rocker himself. What a joke that was. His mother was gorgeous, no doubt, but anyone with any kind of concern for their health would not touch that piece of ass with a thirty nine and a half foot pole. Ozzy was probably his coolest brother though. The guy had actually accomplished more than just being a bouncer at a local bar. Recently he'd even gotten himself thrown in prison for rape. What an amazing brother. Don't you want this family? Oh, then there's Robby. He's kind of sane, only not really, that was a joke. His name sounds normal, yeah? Too bad names don't create normalcy. Actually no one knows where the guy is, not that it's a complaint or anything, more like a blessing. So there you have the other three brothers, can't call them the Evrett brothers because they all have different last names. Thankfully it's harder to keep track of them all that way.

-------Jet hadn't told all that many people that he was starting a small music group with Beau but he expected it to be big. He saw how insanely attracted some women got when he played either bass or guitar and he looked forward to making it his career. He didn't understand how Havana could say there was nothing here for her. He was here in Los Angeles, for her. He wanted to be with her and if following her to another city wasn't enough he didn't know what it would take to get her to realize. Maybe women we're really that complex, maybe he should just tell her how he felt when he felt it. Like how when she touched his face he felt his body raise a few degrees, or seem to anyway, he had no idea if it really did or not. He wanted her to know how he felt but at the same time his ego wouldn't let up long enough for him to do so. He didn't know why he felt the need to be this way with her, it never used to be so hard, she hadn't judges him once. His theory was that this time it was because if she did judge him it would be the opinion to decide a lifetime. A lifetime split clearly in black and white. On one side it was love me forever and on the other get out of my life I'm going to New York without you. Her opinion was what mattered, if he was here with anyone else, anyone but her things would be different but they weren't. he was seeking her approval like a fish seeking water.

-------Jet followed her to the balcony, his mind still swimming with thoughts that didn't seem to want to leave, almost like they were locked in his head and the key was to speak them through his mouth but the door was locked and nothing would come that would help him in the long run. She touched his face and his cheeks flushed red against his will once more like they had before. He cursed himself but quickly forgot about it when her soft touch fled from his face to his neck and too the necklace that she had given him. The one that never left his neck, no matter the condition. Unless he thought he might loose it of course. It was irreplaceable, it was the key to unlock the words that had been trapped in his head. ”Fuck your brother, you don't need him or his approval to be happy. He should leave you alone,” Jet told her, his gorgeous blue eyes clearly showing that he was dead serious now. What he was saying he meant, no kidding around anymore. This was it. "Havana Alexander, I love you more than the whole fucking world. I want nothing but you in my life if I get to choose anything at all," he got down on his knee in front of her, pushing the chair back to allow him room. He took her left hand in his, pulling the necklace she had given him off and placing it in her hand, closing it around the pendant. ”I love you, god I love you more than anything. Will you be my wife?”

-------With that question asked his heart now stopped. Rejection was something he feared more than anything else. It was something he had always been afraid of but never more than he was right now. Havana had seemed to think that when he'd been sleeping around during their friends with benefits stage that he was cheating on her. Clearly she had wanted something more? He hoped for his hear that it was the truth because heartbreak was not something he thought he could take right now. He'd already been told she was leaving, this was the only way he could thing of to make her stay, the only reason he wanted her to stay. He was in love. A boy crazy crazy in love with the most amazing girl he had ever met in his whole life. He felt like this was such a cliche love song that was the soundtrack to his fairly pathetic existence and at the moment it was on repeat over and over in his head the crappy love song. You know, like that one by Yellowcard, if they have just one. It was playing over and over again in his head, the impending doom he felt he now wished would just take him, just kill him now. She was going to reject him and he'd be utterly fucked. Call him a fool in love but without Havana he was nothing.

words idkkk, 1279.
clothes dfosdnf, banner.
song knocked up obviously.
notes perfection in the form of a plan that will be well executed later on.

[havana alexander]

-------Since Jet was her best friend there were a million things that he could tell him, and a million and one things that she couldn’t tell him. It’s not that they were embarrassing but half of the things that Havana and Jet talked involved sex, music, and sex. Sure there were their deep nights, the nights where they had taken so many drugs, where they had smoked so much weed that they would talk about everything, they would talk about the future and the past, they would talk about siblings and what they were doing with their life. Sure those nights would probably just end with sex, but at the end of their relationship there was something difference, which was pretty stupid just saying that you were noticing changes in your relationship based on sex, but when they were first starting this whole friends with benefits relationship it was normally like sex, fall asleep, wake up late for class. Havana would grab half of his clothes, so that without planning it everyone knew who she spent the night with. Then when he spent the night at her dorm, she would have enough clothes for him. But then it started to get different, as they grew up together, and they did grow up together. It started a few months before she met Thaddeus, after they would hook up, they would stay awake, just laying there they wouldn’t say much for the most part they didn’t talk they just stayed there, a million things hanging in the air that they couldn’t say to each other. Maybe that was the reason that she moved on, she went to Thaddeus even if she knew that she would never have the same thing with him like she had with Jet.

-------Before she knew what was going on, words were pouring out of Jet’s mouth, words that she could only slightly comprehend. There were words of love, words that Havana could safely say that she had always wanted Jet to say to her, and she knew that now, but it was all the wrong time, all the wrong time. Havana’s heart started to race because before she knew it, Jet was getting down on his knee and everything started to swim, everything started to well up in her throat. Before she knew it, Jet was on his knees, asking her to be his wife, asking her the one question she couldn’t answer unless she told him first. He took her hand in his, and wrapped the necklace that she had given to him. He sat there with those soulful blue eyes staring back into her brown ones and she took a few breaths. She pulled her hand gently from his, and held the pendent on top of her stomach, before she leaned in, and kissed him silently on the lips. It wasn’t a kiss of passion, or a kiss of friendship, it was that final kiss that she had never given him, the kiss of love. ”I wanted to do that, just in case that’s going to be the last time that I get to kiss you,”

[/color] she said pulling back from him, remembering everything about him when she was this close. She sat back, with Jet still on his knee in front of her. She set the pendant down next to her and then took his hand in hers and set it onto her stomach, with her hand folding on top of his.

-------”She’s yours, Jet, and I’m sorry for not telling you,”[/color] she said, her voice cracking and tears threatening to fall from the corners of her eyes. ”I thought it would be so much easier to say it was Thaddeus’, so much easier to try and forget what I felt for you. I know this is the last thing that you want, I know that Molly wasn’t planned and I was just so scared, but I understand if you don’t want to marry you even more,”[/color] she said letting go of his hand, from where it was resting on her stomach. She sat there in silence, watching Jet as he in turn watched her stomach. She didn’t know what else she could say, she had never planned on telling him any of this. He had been the reason why she had left Princeton, not Thaddeus because she had been so elated and so ashamed of everything. That they had been so careful and then maybe once she was with Thaddeus and realized that she wanted Jet so badly she hadn’t been ready for everything she got from Jet. ”Thaddeus and I were never the happy couple, and we only had sex, once to be exact, the week that we got together. Then there was that night where we met, a month later, out in the rain and you invited me back, and I couldn’t not go. I would have known if I was pregnant by then,”[/color] she said, blushing the whole time she told the story. She knew that she didn’t have to into details. She couldn’t look at him, she didn’t want to gauge his reaction but she could still feel the weight of his hand on her stomach.

-------”I named her Molly,[/color] Havana said, as an afterthought. Finally she let two tears slip from an eye, and then she swept them away, with thoughts of New York still in her head, that she could still do what was fast becoming a trend with her, she could run away, just like she had done for everything else. She picked up the necklace from where she had placed it beside her on the lounge chair, and took his hand off of her stomach and opened it up, with the palm upwards, and she put the necklace back into his hands. ”I’m not saying that I won’t marry you, I’m saying that you don’t want to marry me. I’m sorry for running away, I’m sorry for leaving you, and I’m sorry for keeping this from you, I’m just sorry,”[/color] she said composing herself now, and tugging the hem of her dress down again and making sure all the buttons were closed at the top, she slowly shifted her weight onto her feet, and started to get up from the chair and carefully made her way toward the balcony door and slowly opened up the door. She turned back around and looked at him, still down on his one knee, waiting for the girl that he thought was going to say yes to him. He was waiting on the girl who had left him when she had first agreed to go on the first date with Thaddeus. ”I love you, Jet. I wanted you to know that, I've always loved you, always have, always will. I'll tell Molly about you,"[/color]

words 1222
clothes hurrrr
song tristan snoring
notes we win[/blockquote][/blockquote]